Do You Feel "Better Than" Your Partner (ROCD/RA)?
The Awaken into Love Newsletter
Disclaimer: this is our invitation for you to check in if you feel you are going into compulsive behavior with ROCD/RA content. If so, save this post for later when you’re not feeling compulsive. Please also note that each personal ROCD/RA story is different, which means, some parts may or may not resonate with you. As always, take what helps for your heart, and leave the rest.
Quote of the Week
Your inspirational tip from the Awaken into Love Team
“Never in working with clients have we discovered that there is some truth within them that they are ignoring or avoiding”
– Kat (Awaken into Love Coach)
📕 Journal Entry from an ROCD/RA Sufferer
Personal and raw ROCD journal entries from Relationship OCD & Relationship Anxiety anonymous sufferers to help you build your “compassion muscle”
💌 Dear Awaken into Love
I have read a lot of ROCD stories about people being obsessively scared of their partners being “toxic” (disclaimer: we’re not talking about any physical/verbal abuse). For me, it’s the contrary thing: I am turned off by him being too nice. It’s like I have nothing but contempt for him. I often feel I have to be “the man in the relationship” because ROCD tells me that he is too weak. I have this awful and lingering thought that I am “better than” my partner. I am full of resentment toward him. He doesn’t fit the image of what a man should be in my mind’s eye. He is sensitive, emotional and frequently becomes upset during conflicts. His vulnerability is both unbearable and scary to me. I feel unsafe around him despite his kindness. I am wondering if it’s ROCD or just me needing another kind of partner who’d trigger me less? I also fear it’s not fair to him not being loved/accepted for who he is. I’m so lost and riddled with guilt, obviously.
Please help.
–My Anxious Obsessive-Mind
✨ Dear anxious-obsessive mind,
I am in awe of your awareness and your courage, love. It’s not an easy topic to address. Being able to share what sounds like such shameful thoughts is an act of bravery. At Awaken into Love, we deeply know how hard, cold and scary this place is. We also want to remind you that you are not alone there, no matter how isolated you feel. You might feel so ashamed that you end up being a stranger to yourself. That’s the deepest pain, really: feeling at war within. Not knowing how to trust oneself anymore (or ever?), feeling betrayed by our own senses and thoughts. What is left to trust if there is no safe haven within? Vulnerability is terrifying. Vulnerability is raw. Loving-kindness and safety can paradoxically feel menacing. Vulnerability is a threat to our armored defenses, to the walls our psyches have long erected to protect our hearts. The possibilty of them crumbling and then accessing the raw, unfiltered and core of being human is terrifying. A sensitive, living, breathing human. That’s the journey you’re embarking upon alongside us, love. Be gentle, be kind toward yourself. That is the only way to, in time, be able to extend it to those we love, those around us and to the world at large. Here’s to being human.
– Awaken into Love
🎬 WHAT’S NEW AT AWAKEN INTO LOVE
🔗 Is it ROCD/RA or My True Feelings?
Words like "true" with a big capital "T," "real self," "intuition," "gut," and "alignment" can be extremely triggering when someone is grappling with ROCD/RA, they’re often loaded with high expectations and can lead to further uncertainty and doubt…
Let’s talk about it HERE.
🔜 WHAT’S COMING
THIS Friday, December 27th: NEW YOUTUBE video: What causes ROCD/RA?
✍🏻 AWAKEN INTO LOVE ROCD SUCCESS STORIES
🎧 A SONG (we love you!)
These songs are sent and recommended by our community members when they are struggling. You can send us your requests too on Instagram at @withawakenintolove :)
🌹 OUR OFFERINGS & SERVICES
—> More details about the ROCD/RA Academy HERE
—> More details about HOME HERE
—>More details about the AIL Coaches HERE
IMPORTANT: This newsletter is meant to bring you the education, information, inspiration, and motivation. It is not meant to replace professional therapy but can help educate and support you along the process. Please note that all the material provided by Awaken into Love such as this newsletter, courses, coaching and community are not meant to diagnose you or treat a mental health disorder, it's just intended to educate and support you.
I have a post about Good and Bad relationships, that might be interesting to your readers:
https://open.substack.com/pub/federicosotodelalba/p/on-romantic-relationships?r=4up0lp&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true